Chapter 6: Investing in objective happiness

Suppose that you have successfully concluded chapter 5. You now have the feeling that you have more energy, that you have accepted all bad experiences from the past and that you are no longer alienated from the world. On the other hand, you are still broke, you do not have a job, your friends are not yet visiting you and you did not have sex for three months. In other words, the score for objective happiness is still dangerously close to 0 and your position is still at the bottom of the well-known graph. Depending on the outcome of chapter 5 you are now a warrior or a wrestler.

So, action is needed to invest our newly acquired energy and stability in things which will also make us a bit more happy from an objective point of view. While doing that, we should take the following into account:

1. Use your strong points

Try to do things for which you can expect a positive outcome. When you have difficulties making friends, you should not focus all energy on fellow human beings. When you have a hole in your pocket, you should not try to get rich immediately.

2. Focus

Try not to do everything at once. Your newly acquired energy is probably limited en before you know it, you are down again.

3. Distribute your risks

On the other hand, do not focus too much. If you do not succeed in this one thing you try, you may have lost all energy. Try to tackle at least two issues.

4. Be effective

Try to find something that can give direct results and that has a high probability of success.

5. Accept and learn from setbacks

Often when things do not work out, it is not because of you, but rather because of chance. Of course much depends on how you tackle a problem and of course you could always have done it in a better way. But every approach has a certain possibility of success and when it fails it can be bad luck as well. Try to learn from failures.

6. Try to find a vicious circle upwards

When you succeed in focussing your feelings/energy etc in a better way, the objective score will improve. This can give you again more energy, a better feeling and so on.

Taking into account these things, you will find some tips per objective factor. I keep it concised, as much can be found on other websites and as you can often find better ways and solutions to improve your own situation than I can.

Money

Making more money is not so easy. The most often used way is to try to find another job, but you can also try to limit your expenditures, for example by writing down what you spend. And of course there are many books and websites that explain how to become rich. Strange however that few people succeed with the help of these advisors.

Stuff

When you are unhappy with your house, you should try to find another one. Just take a day off and make an appointment with some real estate agents or housing associations. Buying some new furniture can also give a new impetus. It does not have to be very expensive, when you take a look at sales or auctions.

Love

The second hand market for love offers plenty of possibilities. Important is to be open for other people and to take initiative. Try to be immaculately, even a bit provocatively dressed. Think about how the other person would like to see you.

Family

This requires a somewhat long-term planning. First step is to find a partner and the second step to beget children. Allow for at least ten months.

Friends

Here you can improve a lot already in the short run. Loneliness (defined in a traditional way as not having enough people around you) is in fact strange when you take into account that there are so many people around you. It should be possible to meet other people that share the same interests. Of course you can put an advertisement in the papers, but that can be inefficient. Young man, 34, no beard looks for cover girl to go sailing can result in a meeting between a dyslexic man of 43 with an enormous moustache and a 55 year old ex-cover girl, whereas none of them has a boat or, worse, any sailing experience.

But there are other possibilities, such as undertaking activities where you can meet people in a more gradual way. You can travel to other countries. For most countries outside the advanced western economies you can better go and travel on your own, as you will meet more people and local inhabitants in this way. In Europe, for skiing and for safari's you may prefer to join an organised tour, as locals in Europe are not very interested in tourists or it can be very expensive.

Closer to home you can meet other people by becoming member of a political party or a sporting club (that can give you also some badly needed new energy). The same is valid for volunteer work or a drama club. It is amazing how many people are looking for contact, friendship and experience. Especially this kind of activities require that your feelings are ok and that you have some energy to stay committed.

Art

Also here some results can be obtained in the very short-run. Buy a painter's easel, some paint and just start. But you may also prefer to attend a course. Everybody has some talent for something; just try to exploit it. Do what you like and it may also yield extra energy.

Work

Work is an important part of our day. Try to find something else when you don't like the work, when the colleagues are unbearable or when the pay is scandalous. There are many new Internet sites that can assist you in the process.

Health

Health is partly under our own control. The main problem often is that we do not focus our energy enough to conserve our health. It requires effort to do the things that stimulate health and to leave things that impairs health. People with poor health are often also people with low energy levels and low self-discipline. Sporting, making fresh orange juice and stop drinking all requires energy.

Humor

Humor can be found everywhere. Especially the people around you determine whether your daily environment is funny or not. If this is not the case, it may be time to change job and partner, or perhaps less sweeping, to find new friends you can laugh with.

Well that's it folks. Fill in three things in the table, attach some priority to them, and start searching even this evening via the Internet or the telephone book how to tackle the challenges. After all, you have finished reading this website and so more time at your disposal. 

Good luck...

Home (questionnaire)
Chapter 1: objective happiness
Chapter 2: subjective happiness
Chapter 3: combining objective and subjective happiness
Chapter 4: six types of happiness 
Chapter 5: Influencing subjective happiness
Chapter 6: Investing in objective happiness